The #1 Complication of Childbirth May Surprise You

Even after experiencing postpartum anxiety myself, I was shocked that Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) are the #1 complication of childbirth. PMADs is an umbrella term used to refer to postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, pregnancy/postpartum OCD, PTSD, insomnia, postpartum psychosis, and postpartum bipolar.

Yeah, that’s probably pretty surprising, too, that the risk of suffering from at least one of a whole host of mental health conditions is much higher than the risk of any of the other terrible outcomes you’ve played out in your head.

What The Research Shows

Studies tell us that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men (yep, it happens to dads, too!) will struggle with perinatal depression or anxiety.

By the way, the term perinatal refers to the entire pregnancy and the full year after childbirth. I wish we’d use this term more often because I find it more normalizing for clients than ‘postpartum’ in relaying the time period when these mental health concerns may arise.

The perinatal period is a long time, but I'd go as far as to say years 0-5 of a child’s life are the most mentally challenging for mothers (and why I decided one-and-done was the way to go for me).

Common Symptoms of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

It’s important to know that the symptoms aren’t always clear cut. You may be feeling scattered, overwhelmed, tearful, disappointed, and a bunch of other emotions.

In my 20-something years of experience in the mental health field, nearly ten of which has been specializing in supporting mothers, I’ve come to see depression and anxiety as two sides of the same coin.

Not for everyone, of course, but for most of my clients, their anxiety looks like intrusive thoughts, imagining worst-case scenarios, and overthinking the tiniest detail (among a multitude of other worries), all of which (to no one’s surprise) can lead to symptoms of depression.

Depression often looks like low energy, crying, overwhelming feelings of sadness, hopelessness, very little interest in activities you used to find enjoyable, lack of motivation, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, lack of appetite, even feeling numb, all leading back to, you guessed it, symptoms of anxiety.

If you’ve ever felt depressed, then you understand exactly what I mean when I describe this cycle of anxiety —> depression —> anxiety and so on . . .

Let’s Talk About Intrusive Thoughts

Here’s a statistic for you: According to the Perinatal Anxiety Research Lab at the University of British Columbia, 100% of new moms report having unwanted intrusive thoughts about accidentally harming their baby. 100%! Do you know how often a scientific study proves something happens at a rate of 100%??? Almost never.

The same study reports 50% of new mothers report unwanted intrusive thoughts about harming their baby on purpose.

I want to make this very clear:

These are unwanted thoughts. That is, women do not intend to harm their babies, and they do not act on these thoughts.

Thoughts are not intent.

And they do not want to even be having these kinds of thoughts — hence the term intrusive.

These dark and vivid thoughts seem unlike anything that would typically cross your mind, and they’re very disturbing in nature. They’re a common symptom of postpartum OCD, but they can also occur as part of other PMADs, including during pregnancy.

Remember: Perinatal = pregnancy + the entire year after giving birth (possibly longer).

If I'd had this information, you can bet I would've spent way more time on my postpartum plan than my birth plan, and I'd like to think I would've been more open to asking for and accepting help.

If you’re thinking “NO KIDDING!” and you’d like some support with your adjustment to motherhood, start here to see if we’re a good fit. You are not alone.

The Most Important Baby Prep Info No One Talks About

I've been thinking about how very lucky we are to live in a time of amazing preventative steps we can take to manage risk during pregnancy and protect babies and mothers.

For example . . .

🚙 You aren't planning to crash your car with baby in tow, but I bet a carseat is one of the first items you started researching when you found out you were expecting.

😷 Even though you don't intend to hang out with folks suffering from whooping cough or the flu, you will follow your healthcare provider's advice to get immunized.

🛑 If you're anti-vax, you’re reading the wrong blog. 🛑

☀️You exercise, try to eat your veggies, and you're probably taking a prenatal vitamin.

But why don't we do more mental health prep? 🧐

(probably because the human brain is extremely uncomfortable with uncertainty, so we avoid sitting with it for very long, but that's another story for another email)

What does proactive mental health even look like?

There are plenty of resources to help you figure out the baby gear you actually need.

But what I do is help you prepare to cope with the challenges no one tells you about, such as . . .

✅ decision fatigue

✅ feelings of doom

✅ intrusive thoughts

✅ postpartum rage

✅ sensitivity to all the new stimuli

and the list goes on and on.

In other words, we'll lower your risk of perinatal mood + anxiety disorders (PMADs) using reality-based mindful coping tools and 0 bullshit.

❌manifesting

❌tarot

❌astrology

❌energy healing

Look, I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum, but I'm probably not your person if you're into that stuff.

But if you're here for unsexy-and-boring-but-effective skills that actually work, that's my jam. 🤓

I'm very honest with moms-to-be. Not because I love fear-mongering, but because it's insulting to gloss over fears with dismissive "this is a natural and beautiful process" type of fluff. 🙄

Pregnancy and motherhood can be terrifying, and there's actually plenty to fear because there are very real risks.

BUT you don't have to allow these fears to consume you. You can learn to manage the anxiety and tolerate the distress that arises when you find yourself worrying about the unknown.

Parenthood is full of adventures in weighing risk vs. benefits, and that, my friend, is something worth preparing for.

Comment below with the #1 fear about becoming a mother that keeps you awake at night.

One more thing — educating yourself through trusted resources is a great way to cope with worry, so in case you missed it, my Mindful Mom-To-Be audio series is full of trusted info on getting mentally prepped for postpartum.

Can You Really Prepare for Parenthood?

Oh my goodness, have you listened to the Mindful Mom-To-Be free audio series?!?!? The response has been phenomenal, and I love knowing that so many expectant parents are accessing this vital information. If you haven't checked it out, subscribe here.

When you think baby prep, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

A minimalist but adorable nursery theme?

Snuggly blankets in pastel colors?

The safest m*ther effing carseat in the universe based on amazon reviews?

DIAPERS DIAPERS DIAPERS?

Well, yes, you will definitely be needing the diapers and a carseat, but there is no "best" anything when it comes to preparation.

There are, however, some high-impact strategies to implement during pregnancy in order to decrease your risk for PMADs (perinatal mood + anxiety disorders, commonly referred to as postpartum depression and/or anxiety).

Prepared doesn't mean nothing will go wrong. It just means you are mindful and realistic when it comes to expectations and where you should focus your energy.

How do you typically deal with stress?

Maybe you have some healthy coping skills already in place.

Some may be cognitive (or thought-based), such as:

• not jumping to conclusions in your head

• focusing on the present moment instead of worrying about the future

• remembering how you've gotten through similar situations

Other ways you deal may be behavioral. For example:

• going for a walk

• listening to music

• meditating

• deep breathing

• spending time with friends

• watching a favorite show

I love getting laser focused on my clients' unique circumstances as well as the strengths they bring to the table.

Yes, you’re already doing so many helpful things!!!

We look at potentially problematic aspects of the situation, such as difficult family dynamics, lack of social support, history of anxiety, etc. and we face these concerns head on together, coming up with a plan that combines their existing strengths with some new skills and strategies.

They not only lower their risk of PMADs, but they walk away with the confidence and skills that will honestly serve them now and into their parenting future!

If you've listened to the series, then you're aware of the fact that we don't have control of very much when it comes to becoming a mother, but we can invest in the kind of support that resonates with our goals and values.

When women have support and their needs met, we all win!

Let me know what you think about the audio series! If you haven’t listened yet, get it now right in your favorite podcast player.