The Most Important Baby Prep Info No One Talks About
Pregnancy and motherhood can be terrifying, and there's actually plenty to fear because there are very real risks.
BUT you don't have to allow these fears to consume you. You can learn to manage the anxiety and tolerate the distress that arises when you find yourself worrying about the unknown.
Parenthood is full of adventures in weighing risk vs. benefits, and that, my friend, is something worth preparing for.
I've been thinking about how very lucky we are to live in a time of amazing preventative steps we can take to manage risk during pregnancy and protect babies and mothers.
For example . . .
🚙 You aren't planning to crash your car with baby in tow, but I bet a carseat is one of the first items you started researching when you found out you were expecting.
😷 Even though you don't intend to hang out with folks suffering from whooping cough or the flu, you will follow your healthcare provider's advice to get immunized.
🛑 If you're anti-vax, you’re reading the wrong blog. 🛑
☀️You exercise, try to eat your veggies, and you're probably taking a prenatal vitamin.
But why don't we do more mental health prep? 🧐
(probably because the human brain is extremely uncomfortable with uncertainty, so we avoid sitting with it for very long, but that's another story for another email)
What does proactive mental health even look like?
There are plenty of resources to help you figure out the baby gear you actually need.
But what I do is help you prepare to cope with the challenges no one tells you about, such as . . .
✅ decision fatigue
✅ feelings of doom
✅ intrusive thoughts
✅ postpartum rage
✅ sensitivity to all the new stimuli
and the list goes on and on.
In other words, we'll lower your risk of perinatal mood + anxiety disorders (PMADs) using reality-based mindful coping tools and 0 bullshit.
❌manifesting
❌tarot
❌astrology
❌energy healing
Look, I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum, but I'm probably not your person if you're into that stuff.
But if you're here for unsexy-and-boring-but-effective skills that actually work, that's my jam. 🤓
I'm very honest with moms-to-be. Not because I love fear-mongering, but because it's insulting to gloss over fears with dismissive "this is a natural and beautiful process" type of fluff. 🙄
Pregnancy and motherhood can be terrifying, and there's actually plenty to fear because there are very real risks.
BUT you don't have to allow these fears to consume you. You can learn to manage the anxiety and tolerate the distress that arises when you find yourself worrying about the unknown.
Parenthood is full of adventures in weighing risk vs. benefits, and that, my friend, is something worth preparing for.
Comment below with the #1 fear about becoming a mother that keeps you awake at night.
One more thing — educating yourself through trusted resources is a great way to cope with worry, so in case you missed it, my Mindful Mom-To-Be audio series is full of trusted info on getting mentally prepped for postpartum.
Can You Really Prepare for Parenthood?
Can you really prepare for parenthood? Yes and no. You certainly can’t prepare for everything, but you can prepare your coping toolbox for dealing with all the inevitable surprises.
Oh my goodness, have you listened to the Mindful Mom-To-Be free audio series?!?!? The response has been phenomenal, and I love knowing that so many expectant parents are accessing this vital information. If you haven't checked it out, subscribe here.
When you think baby prep, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
A minimalist but adorable nursery theme?
Snuggly blankets in pastel colors?
The safest m*ther effing carseat in the universe based on amazon reviews?
DIAPERS DIAPERS DIAPERS?
Well, yes, you will definitely be needing the diapers and a carseat, but there is no "best" anything when it comes to preparation.
There are, however, some high-impact strategies to implement during pregnancy in order to decrease your risk for PMADs (perinatal mood + anxiety disorders, commonly referred to as postpartum depression and/or anxiety).
Prepared doesn't mean nothing will go wrong. It just means you are mindful and realistic when it comes to expectations and where you should focus your energy.
How do you typically deal with stress?
Maybe you have some healthy coping skills already in place.
Some may be cognitive (or thought-based), such as:
not jumping to conclusions in your head
focusing on the present moment instead of worrying about the future
remembering how you've gotten through similar situations
Other ways you deal may be behavioral. For example:
going for a walk
listening to music
meditating
deep breathing
spending time with friends
watching a favorite show
I love getting laser focused on my clients' unique circumstances as well as the strengths they bring to the table.
Yes, you’re already doing so many helpful things!!!
We look at potentially problematic aspects of the situation, such as difficult family dynamics, lack of social support, history of anxiety, etc. and we face these concerns head on together, coming up with a plan that combines their existing strengths with some new skills and strategies.
They not only lower their risk of PMADs, but they walk away with the confidence and skills that will honestly serve them now and into their parenting future!
If you've listened to the series, then you're aware of the fact that we don't have control of very much when it comes to becoming a mother, but we can invest in the kind of support that resonates with our goals and values.
When women have support and their needs met, we all win!
Let me know what you think about the audio series! If you haven’t listened yet, get it now right in your favorite podcast player.
Show Notes + Resources from the Mindful Mom-To-Be Audio Series (AKA The Everything Page)
Proactive Pregnancy = Peaceful Postpartum
Welcome to the Everything Page for the “Mindful Mom-To-Be” audio series! If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can do that here.
You’ll find all resources discussed on the podcast listed below by episode. If you don’t see something you’re looking for, shoot me an email and let me know, or message me on Instagram.
Professional Mental Health Support
This audio series is not a substitute for professional mental health support. Read on for free and confidential resources.
PSI Warm Line (during business hours, you can text or call and someone will get back in touch): 1-800-944-4773 | En Español: 971-203-7773
National Maternal Health Hotline (24 hours a day/7 days a week in English and En Español): 1-833-852-6262 (1-833-TLC-MAMA)
TTY users can use a preferred relay service or dial 711 and then 1-833-852-6262.
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24 hours a day / 7 days a week): text or call 988
National Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the U.S. anytime about any kind of crisis
Episode 1: Nutrition + Perinatal Mental Health with Katie Gantt
We're all aware of how our appetite can affect our mood. (Hangry, anyone? )
Nutrition during pregnancy and postpartum is Katie Gantt's passion, and she's giving us the lowdown on what a nutritionist is, how she serves expectant mothers, the ways nutrition can impact mental health, and tips for prioritizing your needs.
Connect with Katie:
Episode 2: The Many Benefits of Hiring a Doula with Aida Algarin
Considering a doula? This conversation with Aida Algarin of Central Carolinas Doulas of Fayetteville, NC, should help with your decision.
Aida tells us how having a doula's support can play a key role in your perinatal mental health. We discuss doula history, what to look for when hiring a doula, the many kinds of support doulas provide for expectant families, and so much more.
Connect with Aida + Resources:
Hello 7 Foundation: Not mentioned in this episode but a wonderful organization providing mothers of color with doulas and mental health services.
Episode 3: Sleep + Your Mental Health with Jen Varela
Ah, sleep! Yes, your relationship with sleep changes forever when you become a parent, BUT there are some things you can do to grab those zzzs and give your baby the gift of a healthy sleep routine.
Jen Varela knows her stuff, and her passion for supporting new parents is obvious if you've ever heard her speak on this topic.
In this episode, we discuss tips and expectations, why newborns have the weirdest sleep habits ever, and the link between sleep and your mental health. You and your partner will both need to listen to this and save it for later (typically, when baby is around 4-5 months, at the earliest)!
Connect with Jen + Resources:
Jen’s ebook Loved To Sleep
The Natural Baby Sleep Solution by Dr. Polly Moore
NAPS acronym:
- Note wake time
- Add 90 minutes
- Play, interact, engage
- Soothe back to sleep
Episode 4: Breastfeeding 101 with Lorraine Rocco
If you're planning to breastfeed, you want someone like Lorraine in your corner! She's kind and warm, and she knows her stuff.
She takes an evidence-based approach to helping new moms resolve their breastfeeding worries, and she has extra training in Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs), so she has all the bases covered when it comes to educating women on the impact that lactation can have on their mental health.
Lorraine drops facts and dispels myths all over the place, and we are here for it!
Connect with Lorraine + Resources:
Episode 5: Baby Proofing Your Pet with Jen Shryock
I'm so excited to spread the word about Jen Shryock and her amazing organization, Family Paws.
Jen and her team have been helping families transition from pet parents to parents with pets since 2002. You can hear how passionate she is about her work and prevention.
Educating yourself about how to safely bring baby home to meet your dog should be on your prep list, and Jen makes it so simple with her team of trained Dog Aware educators.
Connect with Jen + Resources:
Dog & Baby Support Line: 1-877-247-3407
Meet Your Dog by Kim Brophey
Episode 6: Supporting Dads + Partners with Dr. Dan Singley
We couldn't have a postpartum mental health prep podcast without an episode all about dads and partners!
Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) affect fathers, too, at a surprising rate. We tend to have some harmful stereotypes when it comes to a partner's role in becoming a parent, and Dr. Dan Singley is here to enlighten us.
We bust myths, we talk relationship maintenance strategies, and much more.
Connect with Dan + Resources:
Parental Mental Health: Factoring In Fathers by Jane Honikman and Dan Singley
“Call The Midwife” on Netflix
Episode 7: Boundaries, Expectations, + PMADs with Kayce Hodos
This episode is a solo experience with yours truly.
I'm sharing a little about my own story and discussing the benefits of setting boundaries and expectations with family, friends, your partner, and yourself.
Plus some real talk about the lowering your risk of PMADs and easing your transition to parenthood.
Connect with me + Resources:
Anchor Perinatal Wellness offers free walk-in perinatal mental health screenings, therapy, and the only intensive outpatient program between Pennsylvania and Florida, serving women who are pregnant or up to 18 months postpartum.
This Isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression by Karen Kleiman and Valerie David Raskin
Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers by Karen Kleiman
What About Us?: A New Parent’s Guide To Safeguarding Your Over-Anxious, Over-Extended, Sleep-Deprive Relationship by Karen Kleiman
The Pregnancy Workbook: Manage Anxiety and Worry With CBT and Mindfulness Techniques by Dr. Kat Kaeni
The Highly Sensitive Parent by Dr. Elaine Aron
Expecting Amy on Max: Amy Schumer’s raw documentary that dives into her pregnancy experience and her struggle with hyperemesis gravidarum (severe “morning sickness”)
Return to Zero Hope Foundation: support for families who have experienced the death of a child